Well, here I am. In Fairbanks again. Its cold here, as you may imagine. Like negative 20 at night, cold. I followed winter right back here to Alaska. I have had a chill in my bones all winter and this doesn't help. When I left here last fall, I was overwhelmed with an "indescribable heavenly joy" that I would like to acquire again while i am up here again. However currently my current state of mind is confusion.
Why am I here again? I had a lot of time on my drive here to ponder this question. Besides the obvious reason of work, what is it that draws me here? Its way beyond freezing and when it does warm up the mosquitos come out. I am thousands of miles away from the woman I love with all my heart and probably wont see her again for 6 months. I always felt bad for people when I saw them choosing their career over meaningful relationships and here I am doing that. So what is it? Why am I drawn to this place? Its no secret that I love nature and the picturesque beauty of a snow capped mountain range, but is that enough to make a man drive for 5 days away from his love? How many other men have undertaken this same journey with this same question on their heart? I tried to have a normal job, that didn't work out. The florescent lights were sucking my life from me. Anyways back to my main question, what is is that draws me here? I once heard a man say in a sermon that "God has set eternity in our hearts" and until we die and go to heaven we will never be fully satisfied. I bring this up because I was thinking that maybe it is the serene untouched beauty of Alaska that reminds me of heaven and thats why I crave it so much. This would make sense due to the fact that no matter how much I am up here it is never enough. Its the same in the lower 48 but stronger up here. I know I am blessed to have these opportunities, but its hard sometimes to see the the blessings when dwelling on the negatives.
If anyone is actually reading this and has any insight as to why they themselves are drawn to the mountains, please comment and share your thought. I am curious about other peoples perspective on this.
